Irish women

Published: Monday, October 04, 2010

It wasn't just men being stupid and irresponsible during the Celtic Tiger years, says Pat Fitzpatrick, and if it wasn't for male testosterone levels we would all still be living in caves

How long before we see a gender-studies course in Ireland titled "Aren't Men Awful Gobshites?" Charting the rise and fall of the Celtic Tiger, it will show how testosterone-fuelled developers, bankers and politicians blew the lot. It will argue that none of this would have happened had there been more women in the boardrooms and around the cabinet table. It will conclude that men should resign from virtually everything and hand over the country to people like that nice Mary McAleese. The men have had their go: now it's the women's turn.

This isn't radical. It's mainstream. The accepted version of the last 10 years is that you can identify who is to blame for the current mess from a quick look at their genitals. "Women didn't get the power or the wealth during the boom years . . . We didn't make the mess, but you can be sure we will be expected to clean it up," said National Women's Council Director, Susan McKay, in a speech outside the Dail. She would say that, wouldn't she? After all, Mna na hEireann are among the most put-upon people in the world. But she's just echoing the consensus. Men ruined Ireland.

It feeds off a broader notion that Irish men are helpless eejits. You'll see this anytime you turn on the radio, where every second ad features a woman helping her gormless man deal with the modern world.

HIM (weakly): I've an awful cold.

HER (patiently): Try some of this Coldiplex, you big eejit. It'll cure you in seconds.

HIM (in awe): Wow, I feel better already. Have you seen my keys?

HER (running out of patience): They're in your hands, Eamon. I'm off to the gym before going to my high-powered job in PR.

HIM (still in awe): You're so good at multi-tasking.

Susan McKay and the sisters would have us believe that if only the power balance in Ireland was the same as that in radio-ad land, we would have avoided the current mess.

This is rubbish. Were there really gangs of women being forced on planes by their husbands in Dublin airport to go Christmas shopping in New York? Did they shout back in protest as they were led on to the plane in chains, "Gerry, love, this will all end badly. Property is just a classic asset bubble, and you can forget about a soft landing, we need to de-leverage before the American sub-prime market blows up. I'll try not to buy more than one fur coat"?

They did not. Neither did they need Gerry to fund these trips. The boom years gave financial independence to Irish women and they spent it on investment properties, New York and Mini Coopers. Women are great multi-taskers, as we know.

And still we're told things would have worked differently with level-headed women in control. Why? Testosterone. Men just can't stop themselves from making daft investments because they're half-crazy from the stuff.

Here's the thing about testosterone. It doesn't just make men go bald. It makes them ambitious, aggressive and willing to take risks to improve their lot and that of people around them. There wouldn't have been a Celtic Tiger to destroy without it. Take it away and we'd still be living in caves, where the only tiger to worry about would be the one skulking around outside, looking for his lunch.

Here's another thing about testosterone. Women need a dose of it themselves if they're going to make it in business and politics. This isn't because we live in a man's world. It's because we live in a competitive one. Every other country is out to eat our lunch. There are no prizes for being nice.

This doesn't fit with the current anti-testosterone consensus. So we're told that President Mary and her predecessor are shining examples of how to run a country compared with the boyos in the Dail. As if you can compare trying to balance the books and battle the unions with shaking hands with the Indian ambassador in the Aras and telling his wife you love what she's done with her hair.

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This article was found in the Irish Independent on the 3rd October, 2010

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